


The Flat Kansas Society

by MiracleMuse8



Category: Cartographers Without Borders (Tumblr), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Snoop Dogg (Musician), Taylor Swift (Musician), Tumblr - Fandom
Genre: Cartography, Crack Fic, F/M, Humor, Kansas, Out of Character, Picnic, Snoop is only mentioned, inspired by a tumblr post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 15:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiracleMuse8/pseuds/MiracleMuse8
Summary: One woman's quest to create a perfectly flat and level Kansas





	The Flat Kansas Society

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Perfectly Flat and Level Kansas](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/360120) by Cartographers without Borders. 



At long last, they were finished.

From his view on the cliff top bisecting what used to be Kansas City, Severus gazed out across the border to Missouri down below. Up here in the lukewarm Midwestern air, he felt like he could fly (without the aid of a broomstick). Satisfied with his work, he knelt down to feel the smooth, completely lump-free earth.

Taylor sat beside him, gaze fixed on a level resting in the dirt. Kansas had been stripped of almost all of its trademark rolling fields of wheat, but she liked it that way. Wheat, or any other plant, for the matter, would interfere tremendously with her plan for a perfectly flat and level Kansas.

The bubble in the level was balanced perfectly in the center, not a millimeter too close to one side or the other. _Brilliant_ , Taylor thought. _Absolutely brilliant._

As Severus was busy admiring his–no, _their_ –handiwork, It took Taylor a couple of taps on his shoulder to catch his attention. “Look,” she breathed excitedly, gesturing towards the level.

Severus gasped. “H-h-how? I-I mean, I knew it was flat, but I never realized it was _this_ flat.” He hadn’t used magic–Taylor claimed it wasn’t needed for a goal like this. Now, as he sat gazing at the lever and the flatness of the ground below, he could see why.

“To be honest, neither did I,” Taylor answered, rolling out a checkered picnic blanket as she did so. Standing up, she reached into the trunk of her gold Lamborghini, pulling out a picnic basket overflowing with food. She set the basket down onto the blanket, sitting down next to it, and motioned for Severus to join.

Inside the basket, at the top, was a package wrapped in gold foil, labeled For Severus. Taylor handed it to Severus, who carefully peeled the foil off to reveal a cupcake adorned with a swirl of pink icing. Embedded in the icing was a diamond ring, glittering in the sunlight.

“Oh my g-god, Taylor, do you r-r-really w-want to…” Snape trailed off as he slipped the ring around his ring finger. “Yes, Severus, really! You belong with me!” Taylor exclaimed, drawing Snape in for a tender, loving kiss. After a couple of minutes, Taylor withdrew, pulling her phone out from her pocket.

“You know what will really set the mood? Music! What’ll you like?” “

Uh, I don’t know. What do Muggles listen to these days? Ooh, how about some of your songs?”

“Nah. Too egotistical. How about Snoop?”

“Sure.”

Soon, the sounds of Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice” filled the air as the couple began to eat, watching as the sun set over their newly perfectly flat and level Kansas.


End file.
